The Place Between

Gearing up to return to regularly scheduled training is, well, frightening. Not in the ‘I can’t do that’ kind of way, but in the ‘I won’t be able to do *this* anymore’ kind of way. Training, at least a serious commitment to, requires dedication. Furthermore, it often comes with a side of early to beds and no thanks, I’ll skip that. Already I know that eating well, making sure I get enough water, and going to bed early today will make tomorrow morning’s group run (YAY!) so much easier. None of those things really jive with the fabulous week of shows I’ve just attended. I love my go out nights, but I think it is time to start being a bit more choosey with my time.

Not to get too involved (hey, my return to this is a happy choice!), but it does require a tad more time and routine care. Ultimately, there is a question of what makes it easier to propel the body through a run other than dedication and simply showing up: water, whole foods, and rest. It is a simple equation. Input the good for you and get the most out of that body of yours. However, this is such a hard thing to make a habit. It is so easy to have a few drinks and eat late at night (um, check last night’s Insta feed). And, I saw this all the time while training people. Clients or runners would show up tired, hungry, hungover (yeah, that happens!) and I would almost feel like saying why? Why are you here? Why are you wasting your training session/money? Yet deep down, I knew their commitment to themselves was developing and I had a part to play in helping them get there. Pushing them to find the best in themselves and seeing them develop healthier lifestyles was rewarding. It came down to asking for the best someone could give at that moment and accepting what they offered; I often got more out of them that way.

In a way, I think we can all do this for ourselves. Accept where we are wholly and give ourself a place to stand. Our current state (whatever that happens to be) provides comfort of some sort or we wouldn’t be there. It serves some need that we have. We like it because it is known. We know how to be there. We recognize the locals and accept the culture. We are safe. But, once we push outside that barrier we put up defining the line between what we can and cannot do, we see the other side of possibilities. And man, that ground looks pretty cool, but, hey, we don’t know the language, we don’t know the steps, and it is just too damn safe over here. It takes quite a bit to jump. In these moments, the questions come rampant: should I? could I? Yet, once that leap is made and our feet land on something and we wobble and sway to regain our confidence…wow…we find out so much more about ourselves in the place between where we are and where we want to go.

So it is a return to early nights, and early rising. A return to a glass of water rather than a glass of wine (well, sometimes wine!). And ultimately, a leap onto once familiar ground to find that place where I will discover just how far this runner really wants to go.

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